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TLC Application 06|09|2011 “Triggers”

June 9, 2011

Triggers and how they affect us…

Other people can trigger within us a trauma that we’re not even in, but rather a trauma that they are in… This can happen by discussing with another the trouble they’re having, an anguish they’re in, that can, in fact, trigger a deep-seated trauma in us that we didn’t even go into… Unfortunately that trigger can happen and then we believe that we’ve fallen into a hole… Then we get down on our selves because we don’t know how or why we got into a hole, we just end up in this hole… As we try to escape from this hole the pain gets stronger and stronger and we get into self-condemnation because we’ve put our selves in a hole and we don’t know how it happened… We’re upset, we’re angry and we’re looking in our life and beating our selves up because we’re disappointed that, once again, we’ve gotten into a bad spot… We’re in hell, and we’re baffled because we don’t know how we got there.  Not realizing that as we walk through life and we engage with others, that they can hit us with a trigger and we don’t even know it.

So, we must be aware in our interaction with other people when someone is relaying a struggle that they are going through.   Because when we are trying to help them get clarity, see the light of their situation, find resolve or peace, and give comfort, that by the relaying of their discomfort to us they can trigger something deep inside of us.  It’s an opportunity to not engage with their discomfort, but recognize if we shift.  We can find our selves in a dialogue with someone, and it happens to be in an area of our lives where we have some similar struggles, and we are not currently struggling with that area at that moment and we’re giving someone else some clarity or insight from our life. And then we feel a shift… We must become aware that they just triggered our trauma… Like we get into a conversation… We’re helping someone else, and maybe when that conversation ends we realize that we don’t feel good…  We’re starting to get a little uptight…  We must recognize that we’ve been triggered and disengage because it really truly is nothing more than a bogeyman.  Someone else’s trauma has triggered our own trauma.  The beauty is that we can disengage from it right away if we recognize it… If we don’t, the catastrophe of this is that we think that we’ve created it and energized our own trauma when, in fact, it was just triggered by someone else.

If you’re engaging with someone in a similar area of sensitivity that you have gone through in your life, be aware…  Be aware if their trauma or anguish triggers your trauma and disengage from it.  What you have is an opportunity to recognize, “Oh, that’s their trauma, but it triggered in me my trauma which isn’t real right now.  I’m not in that space.  I haven’t fallen into a hole or taken myself down.”

This is what we get upset with… When we get in a bad place or frequency in life, we actually beat our selves up for falling into that state.  There are lessons to learn and we need not ever beat our selves up for being in a hole because we’re never going to figure out a problem in life with the mind that created it…  We’re never going to use referencing negative areas of our lives to find a positive solution.  This becomes beating our selves on the head with a hammer to relieve the pain in our foot… It doesn’t make sense.  We must recognize that we haven’t taken our selves out… It was purely by discussing with another person their troubles, and the similarities to our own that we’re not actually active in… It’s in remission; we’re in recovery of that trouble but because we have been triggered we feel as if we’ve fallen back into it… Then we just beat our selves up for getting into that position again and losing perspective.

This is obviously something that nobody should do… When you’re feeling bad the last thing you should do is beat yourself up because you’re feeling bad.  Again, the mind is trying to find something positive by going into something negative… It’s not possible.

What we need to do is to try to get perspective again.  The clarity comes in the realization that we weren’t going into that negative area, but we did have a conversation with that person that was similar in trouble to an area where we’ve been in trouble before… So we need not engage with this trouble anymore… It’s not ours… Then we’re free…  If we don’t have this realization, then we find our selves in that hole and we beat our selves up.  We’re always looking for triggers from other people.  We must recognize that the energy of other people does affect us… We have to be very careful spiritually when we are healing or working with someone who is having a struggle in life, to not get caught up and make sure that they don’t trigger something in us while we’re trying to help them.  It’s a noble effort but is truly unnecessary.

So, that awareness that we must have in life is that we want to make sure that other people’s traumas don’t trigger our own traumas. This gives us such freedom… If that trauma does trigger us, immediately switch gears and realize it’s not our trauma it’s their trauma… They triggered me.  We go to our Creator and ask for rearrangement because we realize that we are not really in that space and we get to be free at that point.

Looking for triggers and recognizing that we don’t try to demonstrate where we’re not at…We realize the energy of others always has an effect on us… We need to select our energy and select times when we’re going to help people… Sometimes we are not the best person to help someone and we need to recognize that if, in fact, the person we are trying to help will reactivate strife, trauma and struggle in us.  It might be a conversation of, “I really wish I could give you insight on this, but I’m actually working through a similar situation right now,” and maybe offer them someone else to call… But in that context, just be with God and make sure that we ask our Creator to not let emotional transference happen…

These triggers… This is called emotional transference and there is a way to be totally liberated from it.

These triggers… This is called emotional transference and there is a way to be totally liberated from it.  Emotional transference can happen in two different ways… We can be in a bad relationship, get out of it, not truly be healed and then enter a relationship with someone else.  But, because we have not healed we start to think that new relationship is similar to the one we left… The reason we do that is because we are emotionally transferring old emotions from a broken relationship into a new endeavor… This can be really unfortunate.  The other emotional transference is when somebody is going through something and we’re trying to help someone, and somehow we’ve allowed that person’s struggle to emotionally transfer into us.

Be aware of this, and as we’re aware of it we can shift gears. There will be that crossroad where there will be a feeling of recognizing, “Uh oh.  Their emotional anguish has just triggered something in me”… Emotional transference.  We can ask our Creator to not let that happen and be protected.  We can help people, but just be aware that we don’t want to have that emotional transference.  And, thus, this is how we help others, help others to see the light, and not have to get caught up in other people’s troubles.

Okay, have fun and be aware of emotional transference and other people triggering something in us that we’re actually not going through… When that trigger happens we get fearful and think, uh oh we’re back in it and we’re not.  It’s just a trigger… Remove the trigger and be free…  Enjoy the path… Help others as much as you can while being aware that you don’t want negative emotional transference to take place.

Much love,



This material is copyrighted and owned by Thought-Life Connection (TLC) and is not to be reproduced or used without the author’s consent. © 2011

One Comment leave one →
  1. Lori Thomas permalink
    June 9, 2011 1:45 pm

    Today I do not have Trigger old (T.R.A.U.M.A) Totally, Reliving Agonizing Unwanted Memories Again.
    I am the Architect of my Happy and Healthy Emotions.
    Thank you KC for your TLC.

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