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A Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory

June 16, 2013

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Making a searching and fearless moral inventory, and what that represents. How does one go about doing that? When is the time for us to do a searching, and fearless moral inventory? What is moral? Moral is the difference between right and wrong. So what we’re trying to discover about ourselves, is we’re looking at an old character. This creates objectivity. In order for us to make a searching and fearless moral inventory, we must be objective about the character that we’re looking at. In order to be objective about the character that we’re looking at, the first three steps have laid a foundation. Step one has brought self honesty to self, we’re learning to expose our mind to other people, so that we can see our mind and the disfunction in our minds in the day that we’re in. We’re starting to understand the unreasoned distortion of judgement that goes on inside of our mind when we live in trauma living. Step two, we opened up our minds and came to believe in a power greater than ourselves, and started inviting a power into our thought life. Step three, we started to have a relationship with that power, we wanted to take it farther. We started to feel a sense of euphoria and that all would be well. Our minds started to go quiet and we wanted to give it a name. So we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, our God, each individual’s God as it’s understood by each individual. That decision-making process is no longer do we worry about our future, and no longer do we look at our past as something bad or indifferent. We’ve been able to be free from our past for a period of time, but after this foundation has been laid, and we’re able to call God by name, and we feel God’s presence, we exert ourselves into the quality of willingness to see all things in the light of God. We then become ready to look at the old character, and make a searching and fearless moral inventory because we are objective with this new identity, this new consciousness that’s been born through the first three steps. We’re able to look at the old character fearlessly. That’s why the word fearless is there, we are no longer fearful, we are curious, we’re investigative to see the old character, expose the old character, and be free from the old character.

What we’re going to do is we’re going to look at the primary instincts of that old character, and how those instincts have been affected. We’re looking at subconsciously motivated behaviors. The best form I’ve found how to do this, is to categorize. What we’re going to do is we’re going to make a searching and fearless moral inventory on each instinct, and separate them out, split them up into separate categories. We’re going to look at our security instinct. We’re going to understand that there’s two elements to the security instinct, the elements of physical security and emotional security. In the emotional security element, we’re looking at how we are emotionally, are we erratic, are we emotionally all over the place? We’ve got to quiet that disturbance, we’ve got to stop being reactive people or withdrawn people. Do we shut down or shut off when we get scared or hurt? Do we get aggressive, moody, or swingy? What kind of emotional character are we? Are we stable or are we reactive? Are we the kind of emotional person that’s quiet and calm, and patient who maybe tables things and learns to understand when things come up, sometimes the time to address them is when there’s quiet time. If you don’t have that quiet time you wait, you don’t sit there and try to figure things out at the wrong time. Emotionally how are you? Ask those deep question on an instinctual level with your Creator about the old character. Is that old character emotionally stable or emotionally erratic? These are the start of questions that lead us to how we behave emotionally. What we do when we’re hurt, or we’re scared, or fearful, how do we operate emotionally? Are we giving emotionally, do we nurture people emotionally? Are we taking emotionally, or expected to be nurtured by ourselves and people should take care of us, or are we completely shut down, we don’t want to let anybody in. We don’t want to give any energy, and we don’t want anybody to take care of us because then we owe them. How are we emotionally? How do we get healthy, what’s our ideal? What would it be like for our lives to be emotionally stable?

You must remember a lot of our emotions come from the patterning that has come before in our lives, in our past lives as we begin to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. We’re looking at an old life, and we’re looking at pattern behaviors. What were our parents like emotionally, what were the most influential people in my life like emotionally? Were they takers, we’re they givers, we’re they up were they down, were they available, were they overly available, were they impetuous , or were they completely withdrawn? If we can answer the questions with these were the way they were, we start to look at ourselves with the same eyes. We start to see did we become withdrawn, were we over aggressive emotionally? Do we use anger to keep people away, how are we emotionally? Then we look at our security instinct, and that has to do with our physical world. We live in a world that says if you have a car, a house, and they’re nice; then you’re happy, and that’s where freedom lies. It’s an untruth and all of us must cross that road and understand that we’ve been programmed to think physicality means happiness. The right car gives us: the right house, gives us the right family, gives us the right situation, the right place to have parties, the right places to go, we can travel, we have freedom. All these things are represented by physical security, but how have they affected us, how has money driven us, how have we been about physical security? Have our cars been our identity, do the clothes we wear represent who we are? Are we neurotic about what we must look like, what people think of us? Are we so occupied about what we look like physically, what does that represent to you? Your physical security, have you compromised over money? What has that old character done? What other instincts have been affected on a financial level? Was it a poverty family, a family always concerned about money, did that program you or pattern you? How do you change that patterning? By recognizing what it is. Looking at it with self honesty to self and fearlessly being able to say and recognize, “oh this is the kind of environment I grew up in, so I know it had to have an affect, how did it affect me on a security level on my instinct about my externals?”

Then we go into the next category, which is a great one to go to after physical instinct, and we go to social instinct. Social instinct means how did I look at this world, what kind of citizen have I been, what kind of character am I? Do I pay taxes, do I pay tickets, do I run red lights, do I do the things I shouldn’t do; or am I a good citizen? What kind of citizen have I been? What do I look at when I look at people, am I consumed with what people are thinking of me? How is my social instinct been affected in this life that I lived in my past? Was I socially acceptable, did I feel socially accepted, was I socially interactive, or was I repressed? Was I extemporaneous, making noise everywhere I went, dominating everyone wherever I went, or was I leaning on people everywhere I went? Was I uncomfortable, was I connected to people? What do I want my social instinct to be? How do I want to be in this world? I don’t want to be consumed by what people think of me, and the way we get free from this is we expose these instincts, and as we expose these instincts we’re able to rise above to the spiritual level. Spiritual principles must come first, our instincts are what made our lives go the wrong way. Either we got hurt on an instinctual level and never corrected it, and it changed and patterned our lives forever; or we had violent emotional twists which changed and patterned
our life forever. Either way, we have to expose these. If we’re doing an inventory, it’s about recognizing the difference between the old and the new. I cannot be the new character until I fully expose the old character. So, there’s freedom here, do this fearlessly, ask these questions with your Creator with full desire to know the truth and to be free, and to know that the truth will set you free; and to know that these instincts have been affected. So, as you look at these things you’re also going to look at your sexual instinct.

How have I been sexually? What am I like in my sexual interchange with people? Have I been compromised sexually? Have I been living sexually to higher standards or have I been living on standards that I don’t appreciate, do I have things I regret? Can I learn from them, can I use those to set new standards? What standards do I want for my sexual insecurity today and how am I going to do that? I must recognize where my sexual instincts have been hurt, or they led me astray before and now I’ve compromised. Have I compromised because I was physically attracted to someone, but I didn’t like who they were but I wanted to have sex, so I had sex with them anyway? Did I compromise by the way of being with someone that I wasn’t really attracted to but because they could take me and do things, I hung out with them anyway. These are all things we must look and what do I want it to be? What is the ultimate? The ultimate sexual instinct is to find true matehood, which must represent two key factors, from what I’ve discovered in life. I must admire the person I’m with as much as I want to physically embrace them, I must admire them the same way; and feel lucky to be around their presence. This is the matehood. I must feel that similar equality in the appreciation for being around each other. I must see that they appreciate being around me just as much as I appreciate being around them. I must be able to struggle with the question of whether I want to kiss them or honor the way they live, which one I want to do more? It seems to rotate that way, whether I love them more, or I admire them more. This is the battle we must face in true matehood. How do we achieve that if we don’t understand where we’ve gone wrong? Where our sexual decisions have even altered our lives and changed our direction, or embarrassed us in life, or got us into situations that we didn’t want to be in. This is the kind of inventory I must make to expose this to be free. How has the sexual instinct been operating? What did I learn from? Who was I around? Where did I get my sexual ideals from? What do I want my sexual ideals to be?

Through this instinctual process, I’ll start to discover what the patterns have been, therefore how I was affected, and therefore how I can become what I’ve always wanted to become. So, we have sex, security, and society. On the security level, we have physical security and we have emotionally security. These are the inventory processes we are going to do in each category. Then the fifth category is going to be the fear list. I’ve got to create a fear list of who and what I’m afraid of, and why I’m afraid of it. Have this fear list with me, so when these fears come up I can offer them to God. This is not a one time offering with your Creator. You’re fearless is for the purpose that you take forward, so that when these fears come up, you’ve already done the inventory, you know where these instincts come from; and you can recognize that these things you’re afraid of are not happening today. Your fears are from yesterday, and they couldn’t be today. In step three, you learned that God was going to guide you and take your life in the direction you want it to go in, and so there should be no more fear. So what we’re looking for is to become free from fear and understand what fear is, and in order to do that we must have this fearless that will guide us and help us to recognize when we fall into fear.

Also is the feeling category, the feelings that come with the inventory process. It is a list of feelings, so I can recognize what I’m feeling while I’m taking it, while I’m doing this inventory, while this process is going on. These inventories can be done mentally or physically. It doesn’t matter, whichever one you prefer, just so you start doing them. In terms of that, I wanted to look at all the assets that I have in my life that I can learn from, and transform these things. What did I learn from these situations, what am I learning now, how do I become what I’ve always wanted to become if I don’t recognize where I’ve gone astray? So, there’s nothing to be afraid of, and there’s everything to feel liberated for. So this fearless and this inventory process is there to be done for each and everyone of us, and give us great insight on who we are. So, enjoy this process, and remember objectivity is the key. In order to be fearless, I must recognize I’m looking at the old character, not the new character. In order to live fully in the new character, I must fully understand how the old character operates, and how it’s been hurt, and how to protect the new character from falling back into the old character. Have fun in this inventory process.

Much love,
KC

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